Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
