I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
zippers are such a cool invention
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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