He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
