Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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