Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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