Moan for me like Helen Keller
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
