your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
