but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize