Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
