You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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