fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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