how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
