I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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