So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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