she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
