tell your sister to shave her snatch
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize