You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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