she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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