this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
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