i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
