you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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