you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
