Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
