Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
