Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
