D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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