I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
