I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
