Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize