we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I would fuck him just for his dog
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
