i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
