Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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