He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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