Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So many bounce houses so little time
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
