im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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