i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
