Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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