He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
