You really coming over, don't trick.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
