Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
