Your tits are I can't wait for
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
