So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
