hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
