Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
