I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
