he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
