Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
