What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
