The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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