I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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