butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
