If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
