he thought i was a dude.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
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$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
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I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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