Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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