Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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