Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
