I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
