apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
