So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We were destined to go to rehab together
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
