me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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