when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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