its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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