so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize